I had a conversation the other day with a dear friend and she said, “just when I think I am healed, something happens and all of the emotions of the trauma come back up and I am so frustrated because I feel like I’m back at square one again!”
This conversation really got me thinking! What does it really mean to be “healed”? And is there a time limit on how long this should or will take?
I have been through my fair share of traumatic events in my life. Not as hard as some people have gone through and not as easy as others. We all experience hard things in our lives. Traumatic things happen to people every day. Death, health issues, abuse, divorce, infidelity, the list goes on and on.
So why do we feel that it is a bad thing if something reminds us of that trauma? Why do we feel we haven’t healed if something triggers an emotion around that traumatic event?
I believe that those emotions come up for a reason. (Technically, I believe everything happens for a reason) They are there to help us dig deeper and look more closely at ourselves and where we are at. To challenge us to fully forgive the person or circumstances that led us to the trauma. So is this a bad thing? Does it mean we haven’t healed from the traumatic event? In my opinion, no. The emotion is there sometimes as a reminder that we are stronger, better and different because of the trauma we experienced. Showing us that we can rise above the “event” and come out on the other side with more compassion and empathy for others who may be going through a similar experience.
In my opinion, to be truly “healed” means that you have accepted the traumatic event as a learning and growing experience and are willing to continue to look at all the emotions behind it and let them flow through your being, releasing them and moving forward. To find actual gratitude for the experience because it made you who you are. This is something that could take a lifetime or a week. There is no time limit on how long it should take to HEAL from trauma.
Our Chaotic Zen 